MY SECRET, MY SHAME part 5

“Oh God, Oh God”, I kept chanting it, hoping there is truly a God somewhere who could save me from what was coming to me but when he finally got to me being that he took his precious time (I think he did it purposely to get me so terrified and never ever think about escaping again and it worked!) I was so terrified that I peed on myself. He picked me up with my braids, my scalp was on fire as he forcefully dragged me to my feet with my hair, he said one word ‘move’!, I didn’t need to be told twice and he didn’t need to say that if I tried escaping or pulling off anymore stunts, he’d probably club me too but what he didn’t know was that even if I had the chance to run, I wouldn’t do it because that poor guy whose life had just ended right in front of me, the image and every other thing that happened afterwards would forever remain etched in my memory for the rest of my life (they did it, they finally broke me).

                As I trudged on, I didn’t even have the energy to look behind me to know if he was going to murder me or not, I figured if he wanted to harm me that he would have done it by now so I kept walking on and on till my legs gave way beneath me, I couldn’t go on anymore, too tired and just when I thought I was going to hit the ground, I got swooped up by the big pawed guy, he then slung me over his shoulders and walked on……..

                Something woke me up, I wasn’t sure what it was but when I finally came to, I looked around me and just then I realized I was naked, I moved to cover myself up with the blanket I found on the mattress I was laying on, just then I heard a chuckle, I looked up and realized with horror that it was the big pawed guy, I almost fainted with fright but he never came near me or said anything instead he opened the door he was standing in front of and called out something to someone then closed the door and resumed his posture. I tried really hard not to look in his direction but my eyes kept straying to where he was standing and each time I looked at him, he stares right back at me in that creepy way and I immediately take my eyes off him. Not quite long, there was a knock on the door which he went to open and in came the old hag in all of her glory giving me death stares, I really hated that woman(she is a woman for God’s sake and meant to be nurturing to kids!) she came in with a tray of food and  a jug of water, I didn’t mean it but my stomach growled after inhaling the aroma of the food(traitorous stomach!) and they both busted out laughing but I couldn’t be bothered anymore, I was so hungry. She dropped the tray of food in front of me with the jug of water, I gave her the evilest look ever and bent over to inspect the food(like I would know if it was poisoned or not……humph) after I had thoroughly inspected it and was satisfied it wasn’t poisoned, I finally took a bite and surprisingly it tasted good so I kept shoveling it down my throat and when I finally looked up, the both of them were staring at me with funny looks on their faces, I simply ignored them and kept on eating. After I was done, someone else was called in to pack up the plates while the old hag escorted me out of where I was kept to the bathroom(that was the first time I saw sunlight since I was abducted).

                The bathroom was made of wood and bamboo leaves with just a cloth at the entrance to offer privacy , I went in and was surprised when she came in with me as well, she then took up the local sponge with black soap already in it and started washing me(I swear, I felt like a cow being washed before its killed). After the humiliation was over (the bathing), she gave me a wrapper to cover myself with and marched me back to the room where I was kept. As soon as we got into the room, she just shoved me inside and locked the door behind me and that was when I realized there were about 6 people in the room,(3 men and 3 women) who were all wearing red and black robes with their faces also painted in red and white, I quickly ran back to the door to be let out but one of them caught me and slammed me on the table which was at the centre of the room, I guessed it was brought in while I was in the bathroom. The they each held my hands and legs while one of them gagged me and the last one brought out of his robe a knife, not the usual one but this was curved at the tip and then walked towards me, I struggled so hard to get out of their grips but I couldn’t so I closed my eyes but then I felt my leg being forcefully pried open and then the cutting began……………

                Please leave your comments and thoughts……………… (I’m sure you want to know how her parents got involved, hang in for the ride)…..thanks

               

Advertisements

MY SECRET, MY SHAME part 4

Whoever was running after me was really determined to catch me because he/she/they/monster was gaining fast on me, I’m just a mere slip of a girl and I never had a chance but I still had to try. Nothing that I had ever been taught or any training that I had ever undergone had prepared me for a day like this because this was like my own personal boogey man/person I’m trying my hardest to escape from, this should only be read in books and never ever be experienced by any child or anyone, it’s something that would stay with you for the rest of your life like mine did (every knock on the door startles me, someone walking innocently behind me is a no no..) I feel like everyone is out to get me and I tell you, that is not the way to live, I merely exist now.

            Finally it happened, not that I got caught but I tripped!, it was dark and I was so terrified that I wasn’t fully focused, I was looking behind me to know if the person running after me was going to catch up with me, as I tripped and landed on my face, I was just too tired to go on anymore. I was hungry, cold and had bruises all over me, I hurt literally everywhere and the feeling of betrayal that my parents could ever be involved in this just made me finally give up. I thought in my young mind then that it couldn’t be so bad with my captors anyway though they hit me, they at least offered me food  and didn’t pretend to be my friend. While still on the hard ground, I heard footsteps and I thought whoever was chasing me had finally caught up with me but then I wanted to run again (confusing! Isn’t it?…you know how the human mind works especially when you are so terrified, you don’t want to run into the unknown and yet you don’t want to get caught either,  you just wish you could be left the hell alone!…that was exactly how I felt). I was surrounded by bushes, huge trees and all sorts of night animals doing their thing, I knew that if I remained on the ground, I might get bitten by a snake and also if I kept running in the direction I was headed, I would definitely get bitten by a snake (so what could a reed thin 12 year old do?). The decision was taken out of my hands though when the owner of the footsteps I had heard came into view and literally stepped on me while whistling! I screamed so loud he fell on his butt, he scrambled quickly to turn on the little touch he was holding and pointed it directly in my face temporarily blinding me and I quickly made to cover my eyes. He let out a string of expletives probably from seeing the state I was in before he came closer and asked me what I was doing in the bush at this time of the night, at this point I realized he was not part of the people who had abducted me and the joy I felt at the fact that I was finally going to be rescued was indescribable so i started screaming, pulling at his hands and telling him to get me away from there that it was dangerous but he kept asking me how I got there, where my parents were, who hurt me……..blah blah, he didn’t listen(you see where I come from, kids are seen but never heard, adults never listen)he should have listened, he should have taken me away from there because those few precious moments he spent asking me questions cost him his life(I will never forgive myself for that). As he kept on pestering me with questions, one of the men from earlier(the huge ones with the paws) came upon us and without so much as a word to either of us clubbed the man senseless with the  huge club he was holding and kept clubbing him till he was dead! the blood, the gore and human brains splattered all over me, in my open mouth because I couldn’t stop screaming not just for the man whose life had just violently ended because he stopped to help me but also because he had finally stopped clubbing the poor soul and was walking towards me with his club dripping blood ……………

            Didn’t I tell you, you were gonna get extras for being so good and patient?

(I had to fix it and work on this overnight to deliver it to you guys today instead of monday)

Read on and please leave your comments…………….thank you all.

I’M SORRY

Hi everyone,

I should have posted the 4th part of the series my secret, my shame but due to unforeseen circumstances (my 19 month old baby broke my laptop), yep he did! I’m working on fixing my laptop and hopefully I would be able to post the continuation of the series by Monday. I’m so sorry and please be on the lookout for the 4th post on Monday and you might just get extras with it for being soooo good!…….thank you and I love you all.

MY SECRET, MY SHAME part 3

I woke up to someone barging into where we were kept; apparently I had fallen asleep while crying earlier. The person who barged in brought with him a touch so I was able to look around me and (yep, I was right) it was super filthy but just then I realized everyone had gone silent as he marched towards me, the touch he held illuminated his facial features and boy, that was one mean look he had on him so I leaned farther into the wall. When he reached me, he just took the ropes off my hands and feet, didn’t say anything but just went back out. I rubbed my wrists, trying to get some feeling back into them but they were chafed raw from being tied together for so long, I had no idea how many hours had passed since my abduction or what had happened to my friends, I was in so much pain from top of my head to the soles of my feet and I was hungry. Not quite long, the door reopened again but this time some women came in with hot plates of food which were passed around to each of us and a big jug of water was left in the middle of the room with just a cup left beside the jug. When I was given my food, I didn’t want it and said so but I was slapped so hard that my head hit the wall behind it, tears coursed down my face and I so wished badly to be at home with my family but something the old hag who slapped me said to her friends(I assumed they were) made my ears pique up with interest and this was what she said(“her parents already informed me that she Is a stubborn one and you know that cannot be tolerated here”) I was dumbfounded, still holding onto the ear that was slapped, I couldn’t believe the betrayal! And for a couple more minutes I kept asking myself how possible or impossible could my loving parents be ever involved in this!!!. I needed to know, to know what was happening and since I couldn’t ask madam “old hag ” for fear of being slapped again, I looked around the shed, the women were chatting with each other and also keeping an eye out for us and did I tell you we were all girls?…hmnnn, I dragged my plate of food closer to me and saw the women smiled at each other probably thinking in their sick minds that they had finally broken me. The food was hot and smelt peppery, just what I needed for my plan to work out but I wasn’t sure if the door was left unlocked so I hoped It was, still I didn’t want to go down without fighting (I was terrified) so I pretended to eat, lifting the spoon up towards my face and then one of the girls started choking, the women ran towards her, now I had the perfect opportunity so I ran for the door and luckily for me it was unlocked! I didn’t even stop to decide in which direction to go, I just ran for my dear life, ran as if the devil was after me, then I heard voices, people screaming and finally i heard heavy footfalls behind me but I kept running……………………

 

MY SECRET, MY SHAME part 2

I could see nothing, not even my hands which even though were bound together were right in front of my face and then that god-awful smell!(every member of my family knows I hate bad smells!), it’s like when you haven’t showered for days coupled with a mixture of rotten eggs (I literally gagged!), it was a cacophony of smells and I didn’t need see where I was to know that it was a filthy place, judging from the smell, (I will never forget that smell, it will forever stay with me). Then I started hearing whimpers, I thought it was all coming from me because I was so scared out of my mind but apparently, I wasn’t the only one there. Thankfully I wasn’t gagged so after taking in deep breaths, I plucked up the courage to speak, to ask where I was because at that moment I was so confused and in so much pain from the blow I had suffered earlier to my head. Truly I was scared but I was more worried about how my parents would be so sick with worry themselves searching for me so since I got no answer to my earlier question, I screamed it out the second time, then I heard so many voices at once, some telling me to be quiet, some turned from small whimpering to full on wailing, I was more confused than ever and I wanted badly to cry as well but I just couldn’t at that moment, I needed to know why I was being held against my wishes since everyone was too scared to talk or answer any of my questions, I leaned back onto the wall, feeling so defeated and didn’t have a clue as to  what was going to happen to me, I gave in to my despair and cried like I had never done before…………..

(I have had people asked me if this story was related to me and my answer is NO!(Yo! People, this is a true life event, that was the reason no names were given!.)and no names will ever be given but this story is an eye opener to the horrors of female mutilation)

……….The story continues, please feel free to leave your comments and thoughts………

 

 

 

MY SECRET, MY SHAME

My name is…….my…..name  is hmnnnnn, does it really matter what my name is or who the he** I am or what they have turned me into or where I am from? I guess not, so I will start like this…….

I am a victim of female Mutilation/female circumcision!  oh yes I finally admitted to this long hidden secret and shame of mine so you see why I cannot or never give my name out…….(well, let me continue….).

it all happened at the tender age of twelve (12 years), I was on my way home with my friends having had a wonderful day at school that particular day, I was already becoming one of the popular girls in school, participating in all sorts of projects (debates, quizzes and so on….) being the teachers’ favorite, everything was finally coming together for me both in school and at home until tragedy struck. I was with two of my friends, laughing and screaming some inappropriate stuffs at one another, I remembered that day so vividly as it would signify the last day of my innocence, still even remembered a bird being startled by our loud voices and taking flight so fast that it pooped on one of our heads, haha……still cracks me up each time I remember, I guess you never know the worth of something until you lose it and in my case (my innocence). Suddenly two hefty men appeared out of nowhere, it was like they had been there all day and just patiently waiting for us, the other two girls with me almost screamed out their lungs probably seeing the sheer size of the men but I just stood there, rooted to the spot because they were coming for me!, I tried to run(oh I really tried) but the moment I decided to do just that, I felt this big paw on my shoulders(I wouldn’t call it a hand, it was bigger than my head!),he grabbed me and I bit his paw, the next thing I felt was a blinding pain on the side of my head and I remembered nothing else till I woke up to complete darkness and with my hands and foot bound together………….

Oh, this isn’t the end, feel free to send in your comments and thoughts…….